Walcott Museum of the Arts

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The Walcott Museum of the Arts on Fourth East is a museum located primarily in the Walcott lounge. It claims its mission is "redefining the face of modernity and antiquity." The Walcott Museum had a Grand Opening on 1 July 2006 and now features much work by artists ranging from Unknown to Leonardo da Vinci to Claude Monet to Unknown to Jack Jacobs to Eran "Oz" G. (?).

According to the Museum's web site, Jean-Napoleon Malaparte founded it in May 2006 as follows:

In May 2006, Jean-Napoleon Malaparte had a vision: an expansive dream of meticulous grandeur. In this dream, Malaparte, possessing only the clothes on his back and a miniature plastic bottle of sparkling mineral water, stepped off the topmost leaf of a giant beanstalk and onto the semi-rigid surface of a great cloudscape. In the distance, he saw the towers of a Celestial Museum, un musée céleste, as he would refer to it in his later days. Its gilded arches, its portcullis of untarnished silver, its crenellations and parapets of unequivocally ethereal bronze: all bespoke a majesty unheard of on Malaparte's block of the 'hood.

After a quick glissade, a swift pirouette, and a sharp entrechat, Malaparte culminated his ballet de triomphe in a grand jeté that he would never have had the nerve to perform in real life. With an instantaneous flick of the wrist, up flew the plastic bottle of sparkling mineral water, off popped the cap, and onto the Celestial Museum's gilded stones flowed l'eau de rêves, which was Malaparte's term for his favorite drink (which coincidentally was not bottled in France).

The water trickled down the stones, vehemently releasing molecules of carbon dioxide into the air, and eventually dropped through the layer of clouds. Falling upon the earth below, the drops coalesced into a smaller version of the majestic Celestial Museum: about as large as a water balloon, and about as inflatable. Malaparte dashed down the beanstalk, picked up the mass, and gave it the breath of life. Within fifteen minutes, he had inflated an entire life-sized museum. Gazing upon it with wondrous eyes, he stepped forth with eager delight and woke up.

Disappointed by the ordinary reality around him yet confident in his ability to fulfill his calling, Malaparte decided to establish the Walcott Museum of the Arts on Fourth East, a monument to the intellect as it stands amidst a sea of kitsch. Like a colossal pianoforte's striking the penultimate note in an apocalyptic symphony, Malaparte's decision rang throughout the heavens and the earths, and there was light.

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